You're as weak as the hearts you break

Haven't updated here in awhile.

There isn't much to say, except my grades are really bad. Everything is unraveling again. This is not what I wanted.

We're the party. You're the people.

Last night sucked and I don't even wanna talk about it. I have told the whole story to Britt and that's all that really counts. If it wasn't for her, I don't know how I could have survived.

This week has gone by so slowly. I woke up today thinking that it was Friday, and when I remembered it was only Thursday I turned grumpy. I decided to sleep in a little longer than usual so I didn't straighten my hair. I will probably be doing that more often.

I've become even more lazy than I used to be, if that's even possible. I don't even attempt to do my homework anymore and I don't care if I get zero's. I don't even study. The second the dismissal bell rings at the end of the day, my mind is off of school and anything else that might have to do with it.

It's great that my parents want me out of the house. Otherwise, I'd be grounded.

Tomorrow, I am hopefully going to Allie's house and spending the night, if she feels better. That's going to be one crazy night, I can tell you that right now. Next Saturday I am going over to Brittany's house spending the night AND I'm going to kick her ass on the Wii. Hopefully, Sunday I don't have to go to Pennsylvaina but it's looking like it's going to happen. The Saturday after that, I am going to Julie's grandmother's house with Abby and Brittany for a party Julie is having for Saint Patrick's day. Then, she's making everyone else leave and we (Britt, Ab, Jule and I) are going to celebrate Abby's birthday, which is on the 18th. 

Now all I have to do is get through two weeks of school...

In other news, today is my three weeks. I don't think anyone really knows how happy I am because of it.

...best friend, Taylor.

If you don't see that movie, you will die. It's as simple as that.
So if you enjoy life, see this movie. It's only 8$ per ticket. Don't be cheap. You don't even have to buy popcorn or candy, you can go to WaWa or 7-11 and get a bunch of stuff there and smuggle it in. I promise you will love it and if you don't, I will personally give you the 8$ that you feel like you wasted. But I won't pay you for the candy you smuggled in, that was your own choice.

Please go somewhere and learn that LIFE ISN'T ALL ABOUT YOU! OKAY?!

There are people that NEED YOU to PAY ATTENTION to them because they are BREAKING DOWN and DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY SO WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE A FREAK.

But, you're so wrapped up in yourself that it doesn't matter, right?

You're happy, and you don't want to be inturrupted, so it's not your problem.

When does it impact you, hm? When will it finally sink into your head that people really, really need your help? When will you open your eyes and see that it's not all about you twenty-four FUCKING SEVEN?!

When the person is fucking dead? Is that when it will impact you? When you realize that you could have prevented it and you feel like complete shit for letting it happen?

Okay, well guess what? It's too late then. At that point, it really IS all your fault no matter what anyone tells you.

People are here for other people. If it was all about you, you would be the only one here. But you're not. There are other people on this planet and they need other people. No one should feel alone.

But guess what? People feel alone. People feel alone all the time because of other stupid people, you know, the ones like you.

I hope one day you see it like I can, and I hope even more that you actually try to help instead of being an asshole and pretending like nothing is wrong.

Nothing is perfect, okay? You may think your life is, but it's not. The sun might be shining and you might look the best you've ever looked or you might be in total and complete "love," but your life still isn't perfect. Your life is just as flawed as the next person's because of the fact that you are completley selfish and you have absolutley NO idea how to get the FUCK off of your high-horse and face the reality that you've been trying to protect yourself from all along.

http://www.goldinuniverse.com/

SCARILY ACCURATE. SHIT.

Name: Abby
Date: 2/18/2009
Colorgenics Number: 72015643

 

You are trying desperately to prove yourself. You are going at it hammer and tongs in order to get your own way. You oppose any sort of restriction or opposition to your own point of view in the belief that this could prove you how self determined you are.

Recently you have been experiencing considerable mental anguish and turmoil. You are bored and discontent. Nothing seems to be going right for you. Even your relationships aren't working out and you don't quite know which way to turn.

Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual, one that may make a hasty decision and perhaps regret it at leisure. It is time now to break the bond of detachment and be the 'you' that you would like to be - give vent to your emotions and enjoy yourself.

Having experienced considerable disappointment of late and not knowing quite what to do about it this has led you to suffer a great deal of agitation and anxiety. You are trying very hard to make favourable impressions all round. You feel that you have a right to do anything that you wish without being condemned for your beliefs. Everything seems to be going against you and you feel helpless to change the situation. The possibility of failure is most upsetting and this situation is leading to untold stress. You honestly believe that the situation is not of your making - it is not your fault - you have been misled and abused by those that you trusted, but you are trying to look at the situation quite dispassionately. Would you perhaps not agree that this situation could be regarded as unrealistic self justification?

You are completely worn out - physically and mentally - and it has got to the stage where 'you don't want to participate anymore'. You are in fact experiencing what is known as 'burnout' and your reaction is such that you feel that everyone is against you yet you still seem to refuse to listen to reason. You are hostile, bitter and indignant. You insist that you want and are entitled to your own way - well maybe you are, but your attitude is not conducive to making friends. Take it easy. Let go and get back into the World.

There's No 'I' In Team - Taking Back Sunday

Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
And if we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

And I've got a twenty-dollar bill
that says you're up late night starting
fist fights versus fences in your backyard
Wearing your black eye like a badge of honor
Soaking in sympathy
from friends who never loved you
nearly half as much as me

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable...

Well I can't regret,
can't you just forget it?
I started something I couldn't finish
If we go down,
we go down together
best friends means,
well best friends means

You never knew
well i never told you...
Everything I know about breaking hearts
I learned from you, it's true
I've never done it with the style and grace you have
But I've made long term plans
based on these mistakes

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable

Is this what you call tact?
I swear you're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back
so let's end this call,
and end this conversation
there's nothing worse...
(that's right he said, that's right he said it)
I swear, you have no idea
The jealousy that became me thinking
(that's right he said)
that you always had it way too easy

Broken down in bars and bathrooms
All I did was what I had to
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's just what anyone would do
Take the time to talk about it
Think a lot and live without it
Don't believe me when I tell you
it's something unforgivable

Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve

Best friends means I pulled the trigger!!!
Best friends means you get what you deserve!!!

Just remember, I'm not one who is known to play nice.
You, my darling, of all people should know that. ^_^